Sharing Space

Post date: Saturday, Feb 11, 2023 There were eighteen members of a traveling dance troupe, crammed in a newly rented twenty eight foot motor home, bouncing along the 600 mile drive from Denver to Winfield, Kansas. The group included extroverts and introverts, veterans of many seasons of dance with some in their first year, ranging in age from early twenties to early forties, and Richard and Vickers ... before they even started dating. We were going to the largest "flat-picking" festival in the world, where we will put on five shows a day for three days. I should point out that none of us had ever driven a motor home before - what could go wrong? Whichever driver was at the wheel (we traded off every few hours) had to contend with brisk cross winds and the desire of the motor home to go into the median whenever a truck passed by, only to be then sucked back into the truck's wake. While the 'pilot" and "co-pilot" concentrated on keeping between the lines and right side up, everyone else got to relax, engaging in pleasant conversation, enjoying card games, and playing or listening to music - much laughter and merriment was had by all. That protracted time together gave us the opportunity to observe the other dancers. The motor home offered a safe place to get a deeper knowing of each others character and personality during that shared activity and play. In particular, I noticed one woman who was gentle, empathic, and compassionate, with a playful nature and wonderful smile. Eventually, I gathered up my courage to ask her out on a date. Many of our initial dates were spent in listening to Prairie Home Companion in my living room. I would be working on some project or reading a book, and Vickers would be cross-stitching a gigantic quilt top - on which she had been working for many years. It was a time of laughter mixed with stretches of companionable silence in that shared space. A tranquil proximity that fostered a gentle growth of affection. We also enjoyed playing card and board games, either just the two of us or with a group of friends. We have been married now almost 37 years, with a lot of laughter, deep affection, and growing together. We continue to delight in spending time together, no matter what the activity, whether going to the grocery store or traveling to another country. We still delight in playing games with each other and with our friends, just like the manatees do. ...wait a minute, the manatees? "Manatees have been observed participating in loosely organized, seemingly playful activities such as body surfing and follow-the-leader. Manatee body surfing involves groups of manatees riding the powerful currents generated below flood dams when the gates are partly open. Sessions of body surfing can last more than an hour. Body surfing manatees frequently nuzzle one another and vocalize between rides. Follow-the-leader is another form of coordinated behavior in which two or more manatees move together in a single file. During this time they synchronize all of their activities including breathing, diving, and changing direction." [seaworld.org] So, how can we increase intimacy, even after so many years together? How can we grow our already deep, abiding love even stronger? Our goal is to add back into our life some of the principles that spanned the last four decades of our relationship: spending more laughter/play time with ourselves and friends, continuing to have times together of peaceful space shared, and going on adventures together. To that end, we've started up monthly times spent with friends: we're hosting several games nights at our house each quarter, as well as hosting several other group activities. We are increasing the time that we spend together, sometimes in play (like the manatees), and other times continuing to grow together in tranquil proximity. And.. we're going out on dates together, just like almost forty years ago - BTW, she still has a wonderful smile!

To get to the next page, click on this link: https://www.manateeinthemirror.com/post/the-garden-connection If you would like to follow a specific topic, click on one of the following links. Intimacy: https://www.manateeinthemirror.com/post/how-to-surprise-your-mother-in-law (soon) Friendship: https://www.manateeinthemirror.com/post/the-garden-connection Day 6: 264.8